@_@ Two assignments due in one week time. I am so fucking dead.
--
Heard about the Cambodia incident on monday during sculpturing lesson. I wasn't aware of it until I asked my classmates about it. Apparantly, one of the student who died was a student of DMD...and Ms.Gail knew him.
We talked about the incident on Wednesday during Art and History class...and Ms.Gail wanted to talk about the topic of 'Blame' ...
And, well, I can see that she's really upset about the death. :( Her voice hitched many times during the discussion...and she managed to control it till the end of the class, where she nearly, NEARLY cried. Her eyes and nose were all red though.
Ms.Gail said that the student wasn't one who left the most impression on her...wasn't a student she's really close with...but, right now, she can't forget about him.
This leads to me wondering for the rest of the week...why do humans only learn to regret and treasure things and people and creatures and animals AFTER they are gone, and there's no means to get them back? Why don't we treasure them when they are still around?
I guess it's a matter of taking things for granted...or perhaps it's regret? Regret that you didn't show more care to the person...regret that you didn't spend more time with him or her...
In this short 19 years of my life, I have yet lost some one whom I am really, REALLY close with...but since I was in around...secondary 1(I think)...everyday, I thought about what I will do IF someone I cared for deeply died. Be it my family member, my friends, my relatives, my nanny...
(TOUCH WOOD)
So yeah...I thought about it, make myself worry and worry, and I couldn't come to a conclusion as to what I will do...simply because I can't IMAGINE that happening...
There's the saying 'Do things everyday as though you are about to die tomorrow.'
...Seriously, it's easier said than done. Don't you agree?
--
Probably have to kick the idea of going CF out of my head...cause it's hard to achieve...=_=;; Especially if what I am planning was to go in the day and come back to SG in the evening.....MUZUKASHII SUGI.
In any case, will go to EOY whether friends are going or not...mainly cause of the Kuroshitsuji cosplay~! ^__^ Wanna take photos~ :)
--
p.s: Time to start thinking about my future. *sighs*
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Thursday, November 15, 2007
More stuff
Finally, FINALLY leeched FFVII:Crisis Core high resolution cgi scene cuts from my friend...only to remember that she didn't have the last scene....T^T Which depicts the ending of Zack's story.
I went to Youtube to watch it instead...........and I really cried. T_T I think partially it's cause of the damn depressing song they used, the storyboarding, and the voice actors. Really. And when they played the guitar version of 'Aerith theme' for that scene...I really BAWLED. T___T
The theme song 'Why' is a brilliant song as well...goes damn well with the whole game.
Yes Zack, you have finally became a hero. T_T And Cloud, you poor thing. :(
On a brighter note, I love the fighting scene between Sephiroth, Genesis and Angeal~ *__* Damn nice, in terms of the fighting, the graphics, the colours, and everything! (but really, Genesis don't sound like Gackt at all...though he IS voice-acted by Gackt! D;) Sephiroth was happily chopping the gigantic cannon, on which the three of them were STANDING on. The chopped cannon pieces dropped into the ocean like chopped spring onions dropped into soup. XD I came to the conclusion that Sephiroth's fighting technique is the 'Chop Swing'~
p.s: the sound track is composed by someone else, not Nobuo Uematsu. D: No wonder it has a different feel...It sounds kinda country. XD;; But I feel that it suits Zack ALOT~ 8D
p.s.s: FFVII:CC is full of gay hints. Nuff said. I see Zack/Cloud AND Angeal/Zack in the ending. T_T Sad, but ghei, as my friend put it, yes. BUT IT'S STILL DAMN TOUCHING. T____T
----
Today, a close friend of mine cried in front of me. It's not like an outright bawl...more like a few tears here and there.
But I was quite shocked. Simply because...I never see her as a person who will cry...since she's quite serious and proper most of the time...to me, she's a really strong person, who won't cry even when she's really down.
Guess I don't really know her as much as she knows me. But anyway...
She told me about her problems...actually, I don't really remember how we ended up talking about that...we started out talking normal stuff...NAPFA...school...etc etc...and then...she started telling me about her troubles.
To be honest, I am honoured. She said that she didn't want to talk about it to anyone, but she did told me...so I feel really honoured that she told me.
I still wish that she'll stop surpressing her troubles and keep silent, since it'll just backfire on her. Tried persuading her gently...but she's stubborn about that. Ah well, I guess each person has his/her own way of handling troubles. I would have choose to say it out, while she is choosing to keep silent and let it go away.
Sometimes, I feel really helpless when people tells me about such things...cause sometimes, I really want to help, but I can't do anything. I can't give good advice to them or help them in any way...and sometimes, I really hate myself for being so helpless.
To this friend of mine(even though u'll probably won't find this), I do hope that you will find your answer one day and be free of your troubles. *hugs* In the mean time, hang on.
--
Today is also yet another day in which someone questions about my involvement in my CCA. They were saying that I should just quit and focus on my studies...
Well, to be honest, I did thought about it for a long time, quitting, that is. Ever since year 2. ^^;; Many times happened, and due to such things, I nearly, NEARLY left the orchestra...
But I can't leave. Please take a look at the sorry state of the percussion group and tell me if it'll be right for me to just leave like that. =_= Everytime I ask myself this question, my conscious will nag at me. And I know that if I do such an irresponsible thing, my guilt will come back and bit me in the ass. :X
xp was saying that most people left mainly because they didn't have friends in CO. Which is true, in a way. I did saw 'case studies' of such examples...and they make sense to a certain degree. Some of them has time management problem, others are just simply not committed to practise the songs.
I wondered at what she said, trying to apply those elements to myself. Why do I think of quitting the orchestra? Is it because I have no friends? Is it because I can't cope with it? Is it because I'm damn lousy in practises and kept getting scolded?
...Well, no? Okay, I admit that the friends part might be a bit true? I won't denial that I do not have many friends in CO...but, what I felt is the biggest reason was that I am beginning to lose the...excitment of being in an orchestra...
Seriously, I feel that everything changed when we came back from AIMF...or perhaps, things changed from before. *shrugs* I'll never know, but I am certain that something in the spirit of the members have changed.
Perhaps it's the songs? Maybe I don't get as happening scores as I had in the past? I kinda missed the feeling of practising hard for a particular song...even though it'll eat up my time and all...:X not that I am not happy with the current arrangement, since the practising doesn't really affect my homework...(well maybe, it affects sculptoring. OTL)
Whatever the case...I think there's one more element: I don't feel my own existance within the orchestra. Feels like it's okay with everyone if I don't turn up for practise.
*shrugs* then again, I'm quite confident that this is just my over-active brain at work. I can be thinking too much at times. :/
p.s: FFVII:CC's soundtrack is making me emo. ~_~
I went to Youtube to watch it instead...........and I really cried. T_T I think partially it's cause of the damn depressing song they used, the storyboarding, and the voice actors. Really. And when they played the guitar version of 'Aerith theme' for that scene...I really BAWLED. T___T
The theme song 'Why' is a brilliant song as well...goes damn well with the whole game.
Yes Zack, you have finally became a hero. T_T And Cloud, you poor thing. :(
On a brighter note, I love the fighting scene between Sephiroth, Genesis and Angeal~ *__* Damn nice, in terms of the fighting, the graphics, the colours, and everything! (but really, Genesis don't sound like Gackt at all...though he IS voice-acted by Gackt! D;) Sephiroth was happily chopping the gigantic cannon, on which the three of them were STANDING on. The chopped cannon pieces dropped into the ocean like chopped spring onions dropped into soup. XD I came to the conclusion that Sephiroth's fighting technique is the 'Chop Swing'~
p.s: the sound track is composed by someone else, not Nobuo Uematsu. D: No wonder it has a different feel...It sounds kinda country. XD;; But I feel that it suits Zack ALOT~ 8D
p.s.s: FFVII:CC is full of gay hints. Nuff said. I see Zack/Cloud AND Angeal/Zack in the ending. T_T Sad, but ghei, as my friend put it, yes. BUT IT'S STILL DAMN TOUCHING. T____T
----
Today, a close friend of mine cried in front of me. It's not like an outright bawl...more like a few tears here and there.
But I was quite shocked. Simply because...I never see her as a person who will cry...since she's quite serious and proper most of the time...to me, she's a really strong person, who won't cry even when she's really down.
Guess I don't really know her as much as she knows me. But anyway...
She told me about her problems...actually, I don't really remember how we ended up talking about that...we started out talking normal stuff...NAPFA...school...etc etc...and then...she started telling me about her troubles.
To be honest, I am honoured. She said that she didn't want to talk about it to anyone, but she did told me...so I feel really honoured that she told me.
I still wish that she'll stop surpressing her troubles and keep silent, since it'll just backfire on her. Tried persuading her gently...but she's stubborn about that. Ah well, I guess each person has his/her own way of handling troubles. I would have choose to say it out, while she is choosing to keep silent and let it go away.
Sometimes, I feel really helpless when people tells me about such things...cause sometimes, I really want to help, but I can't do anything. I can't give good advice to them or help them in any way...and sometimes, I really hate myself for being so helpless.
To this friend of mine(even though u'll probably won't find this), I do hope that you will find your answer one day and be free of your troubles. *hugs* In the mean time, hang on.
--
Today is also yet another day in which someone questions about my involvement in my CCA. They were saying that I should just quit and focus on my studies...
Well, to be honest, I did thought about it for a long time, quitting, that is. Ever since year 2. ^^;; Many times happened, and due to such things, I nearly, NEARLY left the orchestra...
But I can't leave. Please take a look at the sorry state of the percussion group and tell me if it'll be right for me to just leave like that. =_= Everytime I ask myself this question, my conscious will nag at me. And I know that if I do such an irresponsible thing, my guilt will come back and bit me in the ass. :X
xp was saying that most people left mainly because they didn't have friends in CO. Which is true, in a way. I did saw 'case studies' of such examples...and they make sense to a certain degree. Some of them has time management problem, others are just simply not committed to practise the songs.
I wondered at what she said, trying to apply those elements to myself. Why do I think of quitting the orchestra? Is it because I have no friends? Is it because I can't cope with it? Is it because I'm damn lousy in practises and kept getting scolded?
...Well, no? Okay, I admit that the friends part might be a bit true? I won't denial that I do not have many friends in CO...but, what I felt is the biggest reason was that I am beginning to lose the...excitment of being in an orchestra...
Seriously, I feel that everything changed when we came back from AIMF...or perhaps, things changed from before. *shrugs* I'll never know, but I am certain that something in the spirit of the members have changed.
Perhaps it's the songs? Maybe I don't get as happening scores as I had in the past? I kinda missed the feeling of practising hard for a particular song...even though it'll eat up my time and all...:X not that I am not happy with the current arrangement, since the practising doesn't really affect my homework...(well maybe, it affects sculptoring. OTL)
Whatever the case...I think there's one more element: I don't feel my own existance within the orchestra. Feels like it's okay with everyone if I don't turn up for practise.
*shrugs* then again, I'm quite confident that this is just my over-active brain at work. I can be thinking too much at times. :/
p.s: FFVII:CC's soundtrack is making me emo. ~_~
Monday, November 12, 2007
Woah, essay ahead. @_@
*_* Just had a deep, deep discussion with my dad regarding a topic involved in my Art & History module...'Rules'
At times like this, I love my dad very, VERY much. *happy smile* Discussing different topics with him had been a favourite hobby of mine...my dad's knowledge and opinions about things really surprised me at times...they can be really profound. *__*
:) In anycase, he left me with more views regarding the topics and open my mind to more ideas.
Disclaimer: this are just my own opinions and thoughts about certain things, and they are in no way definitely accurate.
'Rules are everything. They are the way of life, they are restrictions, they are tools to control oneself, and they are definite. Without them, there is only insanity.'
Isn't it true? What's the first rule we set upon ourselves when we are born into this world? To live, and thus we cry for milk.
When you want to urine or shit, you go to the toilet. That's a rule. When you wake up, you brush your teeth. That's a rule. You wear clothes. That's a rule.
But these are things that you can choose to not do, right? What matters is the consequences of NOT doing them. Imagine yourself running naked in the public. It's not something you can't do, but what will the people think when they see you acting in such a way?
'When one says he wants freedom, what he really means is that he wants to follow his OWN set of rules, instead of rules set by others. Madness is the ultimate freedom, since there's no rules, thus one cannot even control oneself.'
It's not necessary to follow a rule, but you'll have to think of the consequences of not doing so.
Imagine there's a bridge. It takes you from point A to B. A rule is something like a bridge. You have to follow it to achieve/do/reach something. But of course, that is not the only way. You can simply swim over, instead of using the bridge. But you'll end up getting yourself wet. That is the consequence of not using the bridge(of not following the rule).
Not all consequences are bad though. Sometimes, when you go against the rule, you'll end up coming up with new rules that works better than the old one.
Regarding law, it is not everything. Law is there to control the bad rules formed by some individuals, such as criminals. A murderer can think 'I want to kill this person', and does so as that is a rule he made for himself. The law exist to control certain rules that might prove harmful to the society and the people.
Punishments are enforcements to certain rules, since some people might choose to be funny and disobey certain rules. The enforcements are there as an attempt to ensure that people obey the rules.
'Rules are meant to be broken- but rules aren't really broken in this case. They are merely remade.'
Rules changes from time to time and from place to place. Evolution and revolution symbolises the changing of rules. When whales moved from land to the ocean as part of their evolution, they were actually changing their rules from 'We live on land' to 'We live in the ocean'.
Thus, rules apply to all living things (even plants have rules).
But anyway, rules are meant to be broken is true to a certain extent as one day, the rules will change, and in a way, that's considered breaking it. A rule is broken when people no longer follows it. Thus when an old rule is pushed away for a new rule, that old rule is considered broken.
...
Okay, enough writing about rules. ^^;; Just writing down my main thoughts now so that I can refer back later if I forget something...
I had similar discussion with Kaiwen just last Tuesday...was doing Art & History homework again...to be honest, this module is quite taxing on the brain. ^^;; But it's fun, in a way. XD;;
--
I'm recently into Lovely-MocoChang aka LM.C (though I really like only two songs...^^;;)
The first is 'Boys and Girls' and is the second opening song for the anime Katekyoshi Hitman Reborn (though I didn't watch it. The quality of that anime sucks, even if the manga is love =_=)
^^; Those who had been paying attention to my 'what I'm listening now' tag on MSN Messenger will know that I had been looping it on and on for the past week.
The second song is damn cute. XD Talks about a pig's love for a lion~ (basically, a fat girl liking a handsome young man)
:) I like the Maya's voice, and to be honest, I'm surprised that they are a two-man band, Maya as the vocals and Aiji as the guitarist(and back up singer, I think)...I thought they are a full band after watching their Boys and Girls PV at first...^^;;
--
I wanna rec manga, really. But...I think this post is getting too long. XD;;
...
Ah well, shall go ahead with the rec-ing! 8D
Shall rec one manga today~
KUROSHITSUJI 黑执事 Black Butler
One of my Reborn-kahki rec-ed this to me, with an indignant 'You don't know?! It's Butler!Mukuro!'
*ahem* For those who don't catch the joke(in which I guess all of you don't), Mukuro is from Hitman Reborn, and the butler in this manga that I am recing now resembles Mukuro ALOT. *__*
MUKURO:
Anyway, I started reading it for the Mukuro-resemblance...but as it gets into the plot, it's quite interesting.
Phantomhive Ciel is the 12-year-old head of the family, with the mysterious yet charismatic Sebastian Michaels serving as his perfect butler. Sebastian can fight, make delicious desserts, extensive knowledge, perfect manners and solves tough problems that might post a threat to a perfect dinner party. But of course, nothing comes for free, and as you can expect, Sebastian is not what he seems...
So far, it has two volumes...though only the first volume is translated into Chinese...which you can find HERE: AT COMIC SKY FIRE!!
---
Okay, I wanna rec another one...but this is getting too long...(is there a word limit? >.>)
Shall post it next time then~ :) That's about it~ For those who have read to this point, you have patiences~ *thumbs up*
At times like this, I love my dad very, VERY much. *happy smile* Discussing different topics with him had been a favourite hobby of mine...my dad's knowledge and opinions about things really surprised me at times...they can be really profound. *__*
:) In anycase, he left me with more views regarding the topics and open my mind to more ideas.
Disclaimer: this are just my own opinions and thoughts about certain things, and they are in no way definitely accurate.
'Rules are everything. They are the way of life, they are restrictions, they are tools to control oneself, and they are definite. Without them, there is only insanity.'
Isn't it true? What's the first rule we set upon ourselves when we are born into this world? To live, and thus we cry for milk.
When you want to urine or shit, you go to the toilet. That's a rule. When you wake up, you brush your teeth. That's a rule. You wear clothes. That's a rule.
But these are things that you can choose to not do, right? What matters is the consequences of NOT doing them. Imagine yourself running naked in the public. It's not something you can't do, but what will the people think when they see you acting in such a way?
'When one says he wants freedom, what he really means is that he wants to follow his OWN set of rules, instead of rules set by others. Madness is the ultimate freedom, since there's no rules, thus one cannot even control oneself.'
It's not necessary to follow a rule, but you'll have to think of the consequences of not doing so.
Imagine there's a bridge. It takes you from point A to B. A rule is something like a bridge. You have to follow it to achieve/do/reach something. But of course, that is not the only way. You can simply swim over, instead of using the bridge. But you'll end up getting yourself wet. That is the consequence of not using the bridge(of not following the rule).
Not all consequences are bad though. Sometimes, when you go against the rule, you'll end up coming up with new rules that works better than the old one.
Regarding law, it is not everything. Law is there to control the bad rules formed by some individuals, such as criminals. A murderer can think 'I want to kill this person', and does so as that is a rule he made for himself. The law exist to control certain rules that might prove harmful to the society and the people.
Punishments are enforcements to certain rules, since some people might choose to be funny and disobey certain rules. The enforcements are there as an attempt to ensure that people obey the rules.
'Rules are meant to be broken- but rules aren't really broken in this case. They are merely remade.'
Rules changes from time to time and from place to place. Evolution and revolution symbolises the changing of rules. When whales moved from land to the ocean as part of their evolution, they were actually changing their rules from 'We live on land' to 'We live in the ocean'.
Thus, rules apply to all living things (even plants have rules).
But anyway, rules are meant to be broken is true to a certain extent as one day, the rules will change, and in a way, that's considered breaking it. A rule is broken when people no longer follows it. Thus when an old rule is pushed away for a new rule, that old rule is considered broken.
...
Okay, enough writing about rules. ^^;; Just writing down my main thoughts now so that I can refer back later if I forget something...
I had similar discussion with Kaiwen just last Tuesday...was doing Art & History homework again...to be honest, this module is quite taxing on the brain. ^^;; But it's fun, in a way. XD;;
--
I'm recently into Lovely-MocoChang aka LM.C (though I really like only two songs...^^;;)
The first is 'Boys and Girls' and is the second opening song for the anime Katekyoshi Hitman Reborn (though I didn't watch it. The quality of that anime sucks, even if the manga is love =_=)
^^; Those who had been paying attention to my 'what I'm listening now' tag on MSN Messenger will know that I had been looping it on and on for the past week.
The second song is damn cute. XD Talks about a pig's love for a lion~ (basically, a fat girl liking a handsome young man)
:) I like the Maya's voice, and to be honest, I'm surprised that they are a two-man band, Maya as the vocals and Aiji as the guitarist(and back up singer, I think)...I thought they are a full band after watching their Boys and Girls PV at first...^^;;
--
I wanna rec manga, really. But...I think this post is getting too long. XD;;
...
Ah well, shall go ahead with the rec-ing! 8D
Shall rec one manga today~
KUROSHITSUJI 黑执事 Black Butler
One of my Reborn-kahki rec-ed this to me, with an indignant 'You don't know?! It's Butler!Mukuro!'
*ahem* For those who don't catch the joke(in which I guess all of you don't), Mukuro is from Hitman Reborn, and the butler in this manga that I am recing now resembles Mukuro ALOT. *__*
MUKURO:
Anyway, I started reading it for the Mukuro-resemblance...but as it gets into the plot, it's quite interesting.
Phantomhive Ciel is the 12-year-old head of the family, with the mysterious yet charismatic Sebastian Michaels serving as his perfect butler. Sebastian can fight, make delicious desserts, extensive knowledge, perfect manners and solves tough problems that might post a threat to a perfect dinner party. But of course, nothing comes for free, and as you can expect, Sebastian is not what he seems...
So far, it has two volumes...though only the first volume is translated into Chinese...which you can find HERE: AT COMIC SKY FIRE!!
---
Okay, I wanna rec another one...but this is getting too long...(is there a word limit? >.>)
Shall post it next time then~ :) That's about it~ For those who have read to this point, you have patiences~ *thumbs up*
Thursday, November 8, 2007
Cause I haven't been blogging too much lately.
Joanne commented that I haven't been blogging alot recently! D; Well....let me explain myself~
Reasons why I haven't been blogging recently:
1)There's nothing much to blog about!
Which is true, in a way~ Come to think of it, most of my entries involves lots and lots of ranting about a few people. *shrugs* But that's in the past, while I'm in the comm. And since I'm no longer involved in comm work, the rants doesn't come up as often~
Joanne was saying that I can rant about CO~ XD;; But I don't really have anything to rant about it right now. The only problem I have now is the percussion group...which I had already ranted in the previous few entries. Sooooo, that leaves me with nothing else to rant~
I used to rant about my school work too...especially my teammates. ^^;; Well, it's not like I'm not upset with my school now or anything, just that...it's not as bad as it was in the past. *shrugs*
2)I am lazy.
Blogging in blogger is a littttle bit troublesome...I have to log in. XD;; *lazy*
3)No one reading?
The main reason why I have this blog was because it has a function that enables others to comment about my entries and stuff without having to have an account. A.K.A. the TAGBOARD~
Sadly, not much people is using it, which equates to me not know if anyone is reading my entries or not. I feel like I'm writing to the wall sometimes. Feeling kinda silly, I decided not to write too much.
Well, you can say that I'm attention seeking or whatever, but I prefer to have someone commenting about the stuff I write, and I'll know if people enjoys or hates my opinions and stuff. Isn't that the purpose of online blogging? You blog to let people read it, and when you know that people is reading your entries and commenting about it, you'll feel kinda happy, cause you are being heard.
And you know that some one cares about what you are doing or experiencing or thinking.
Seriously, I can just write in a private journal instead of a blogspot blog if I didn't want to know if people are reading my stuff. *shrugs* But it feels more lonely like that, don't you think?
Enough of the emo-ness~ I shall update soon with another manga introduction~! :D
Reasons why I haven't been blogging recently:
1)There's nothing much to blog about!
Which is true, in a way~ Come to think of it, most of my entries involves lots and lots of ranting about a few people. *shrugs* But that's in the past, while I'm in the comm. And since I'm no longer involved in comm work, the rants doesn't come up as often~
Joanne was saying that I can rant about CO~ XD;; But I don't really have anything to rant about it right now. The only problem I have now is the percussion group...which I had already ranted in the previous few entries. Sooooo, that leaves me with nothing else to rant~
I used to rant about my school work too...especially my teammates. ^^;; Well, it's not like I'm not upset with my school now or anything, just that...it's not as bad as it was in the past. *shrugs*
2)I am lazy.
Blogging in blogger is a littttle bit troublesome...I have to log in. XD;; *lazy*
3)No one reading?
The main reason why I have this blog was because it has a function that enables others to comment about my entries and stuff without having to have an account. A.K.A. the TAGBOARD~
Sadly, not much people is using it, which equates to me not know if anyone is reading my entries or not. I feel like I'm writing to the wall sometimes. Feeling kinda silly, I decided not to write too much.
Well, you can say that I'm attention seeking or whatever, but I prefer to have someone commenting about the stuff I write, and I'll know if people enjoys or hates my opinions and stuff. Isn't that the purpose of online blogging? You blog to let people read it, and when you know that people is reading your entries and commenting about it, you'll feel kinda happy, cause you are being heard.
And you know that some one cares about what you are doing or experiencing or thinking.
Seriously, I can just write in a private journal instead of a blogspot blog if I didn't want to know if people are reading my stuff. *shrugs* But it feels more lonely like that, don't you think?
Enough of the emo-ness~ I shall update soon with another manga introduction~! :D
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