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Finally, FINALLY leeched FFVII:Crisis Core high resolution cgi scene cuts from my friend...only to remember that she didn't have the last scene....T^T Which depicts the ending of Zack's story.

I went to Youtube to watch it instead...........and I really cried. T_T I think partially it's cause of the damn depressing song they used, the storyboarding, and the voice actors. Really. And when they played the guitar version of 'Aerith theme' for that scene...I really BAWLED. T___T

The theme song 'Why' is a brilliant song as well...goes damn well with the whole game.

Yes Zack, you have finally became a hero. T_T And Cloud, you poor thing. :(

On a brighter note, I love the fighting scene between Sephiroth, Genesis and Angeal~ *__* Damn nice, in terms of the fighting, the graphics, the colours, and everything! (but really, Genesis don't sound like Gackt at all...though he IS voice-acted by Gackt! D;) Sephiroth was happily chopping the gigantic cannon, on which the three of them were STANDING on. The chopped cannon pieces dropped into the ocean like chopped spring onions dropped into soup. XD I came to the conclusion that Sephiroth's fighting technique is the 'Chop Swing'~

p.s: the sound track is composed by someone else, not Nobuo Uematsu. D: No wonder it has a different feel...It sounds kinda country. XD;; But I feel that it suits Zack ALOT~ 8D

p.s.s: FFVII:CC is full of gay hints. Nuff said. I see Zack/Cloud AND Angeal/Zack in the ending. T_T Sad, but ghei, as my friend put it, yes. BUT IT'S STILL DAMN TOUCHING. T____T

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Today, a close friend of mine cried in front of me. It's not like an outright bawl...more like a few tears here and there.

But I was quite shocked. Simply because...I never see her as a person who will cry...since she's quite serious and proper most of the time...to me, she's a really strong person, who won't cry even when she's really down.

Guess I don't really know her as much as she knows me. But anyway...

She told me about her problems...actually, I don't really remember how we ended up talking about that...we started out talking normal stuff...NAPFA...school...etc etc...and then...she started telling me about her troubles.

To be honest, I am honoured. She said that she didn't want to talk about it to anyone, but she did told me...so I feel really honoured that she told me.

I still wish that she'll stop surpressing her troubles and keep silent, since it'll just backfire on her. Tried persuading her gently...but she's stubborn about that. Ah well, I guess each person has his/her own way of handling troubles. I would have choose to say it out, while she is choosing to keep silent and let it go away.

Sometimes, I feel really helpless when people tells me about such things...cause sometimes, I really want to help, but I can't do anything. I can't give good advice to them or help them in any way...and sometimes, I really hate myself for being so helpless.

To this friend of mine(even though u'll probably won't find this), I do hope that you will find your answer one day and be free of your troubles. *hugs* In the mean time, hang on.

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Today is also yet another day in which someone questions about my involvement in my CCA. They were saying that I should just quit and focus on my studies...

Well, to be honest, I did thought about it for a long time, quitting, that is. Ever since year 2. ^^;; Many times happened, and due to such things, I nearly, NEARLY left the orchestra...

But I can't leave. Please take a look at the sorry state of the percussion group and tell me if it'll be right for me to just leave like that. =_= Everytime I ask myself this question, my conscious will nag at me. And I know that if I do such an irresponsible thing, my guilt will come back and bit me in the ass. :X

xp was saying that most people left mainly because they didn't have friends in CO. Which is true, in a way. I did saw 'case studies' of such examples...and they make sense to a certain degree. Some of them has time management problem, others are just simply not committed to practise the songs.

I wondered at what she said, trying to apply those elements to myself. Why do I think of quitting the orchestra? Is it because I have no friends? Is it because I can't cope with it? Is it because I'm damn lousy in practises and kept getting scolded?

...Well, no? Okay, I admit that the friends part might be a bit true? I won't denial that I do not have many friends in CO...but, what I felt is the biggest reason was that I am beginning to lose the...excitment of being in an orchestra...

Seriously, I feel that everything changed when we came back from AIMF...or perhaps, things changed from before. *shrugs* I'll never know, but I am certain that something in the spirit of the members have changed.

Perhaps it's the songs? Maybe I don't get as happening scores as I had in the past? I kinda missed the feeling of practising hard for a particular song...even though it'll eat up my time and all...:X not that I am not happy with the current arrangement, since the practising doesn't really affect my homework...(well maybe, it affects sculptoring. OTL)

Whatever the case...I think there's one more element: I don't feel my own existance within the orchestra. Feels like it's okay with everyone if I don't turn up for practise.

*shrugs* then again, I'm quite confident that this is just my over-active brain at work. I can be thinking too much at times. :/

p.s: FFVII:CC's soundtrack is making me emo. ~_~